In my mission to singlehandedly bouy up the finances of Amazon and Waterstones, I am still reading. Currently these two: The Mindful Way through Depression and Running with the Mind of Meditation. Mindfulness-based cognitive therapy is what is currently recommended as a treatment for recurrent depression, and as I appear to be not the most urgent cookie in the barrel for the NHS ( which is fair, I am still here, I can clearly read and type and sort of work), I thought I ought to learn about it.

Interestingly the first book suggests (as I understand it) that one of the ways people get trapped in depression is that they spend too much time ruminating about it and trying to reason their way out (doing) instead of just allowing themselves to be. Which sounds like ‘pulling yourself together’ is only going to facilitate regular reoccurrences as you never learn that ‘doing’ rather than ‘being’ is at the root of the problem. A theory that is really difficult to accept, if quite straightforward to understand, as we are so conditioned to take action in every situation.

There is a helpful CD of led meditations on the first one, which augments the ones I am using from iTunes. And they seem to be useful. The only problem is that cats do not get meditation. Various episodes have occurred to date involving ‘falling off the sofa’ and snoring (which I can hear even when he is wrapped up in something and I have headphones on).

Today I tried to do what they refer to as a full body scan which involves concentrating on bits of your body in turn and then moving on. Which is difficult once you get to your belly, which has a heavy weight equivalent to that of a small black hole because there is a cat sitting on you watching you try and meditate.

I thought it might work if I let him sit quietly on me (if I shut him in another room, he howls because he thinks I have abandoned him forever to roam the streets and live on crisp packets). It didn’t but I think he found it interesting.

The other book I am hoping will let me get back to running at some point, I just have a massive mental block on it at the moment, ‘can’t, can’t can’t’. I know it would make me feel better if I could, but I can’t. Silly.


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